February 18, 2020

Removing the 600 lb Guilt Monkey

Do you get in the cycle of feeling guilty when you are homeschooling, because your house needs cleaning? When you stop to clean, do you feel guilty because you are not homeschooling? Are there things you just never seem to get to? These things can leave you with a sense of failure, no matter how much you may accomplish. Is your focus on mistakes holding you back? Are there weaknesses or habits you desire to overcome? Could it be your mindset or focus that keeps you in this space?

Since early childhood we are trained in school to have the habit of looking for what is wrong. We did our work and waited to be graded and then we counted our mistakes which were conveniently marked in red. With all the focus on mistakes, it is easy to begin looking at the day and our life in the same way--constantly grading ourselves, focusing on weakness, focusing on what we did not do, focusing on our mistakes. I am not suggesting we should pretend we have no weaknesses. Nor do I suggest we write off doing what needs to be done or ignore our mistakes. I am suggesting dealing with these differently. Shift the focus to living in victory, acknowledge the things that we do get done, build on our strengths, while strengthening areas needing strengthening, repair and learn from our mistakes, then move forward. This can: be an amazing breath of fresh air, can revitalize our efforts, and can help propel us forward. I find that the focus on mistakes and what is not done, to be a limiting mindset. The focus on victory can be a growth mindset.

Three Bible Victory Verses to Live by and Find Joy in the Journey:

1.  2 Chronicles 13:8 “With him is an arm of flesh; but with us is the Lord our God to help us, and to fight our battles.”

We can hem our days with prayer. We can turn to God and ask His help in overcoming and in living in victory. While others try to change for the better in their own strength, relying on their own arm of flesh, we do have God to help us fight our battles. He can help us fight all our battles, whether those battles are with sin, or with overcoming the mattress in the morning, or maintaining our homes, or feeding our families, or reigning in our finances, or in getting enough healthy exercise, or in filling our well, or in our endeavors to home school and raise our families.

2.  Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

Yes, we can do all these things through Christ which strengthens us. With His guidance and help we can accomplish amazing things!

3.  I Corinthians 15: 57 "But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

As we seek Him and the strength He can give us, let us remember to look for His hand in our lives, to acknowledge His help, recognize that those victories come from the strength and guidance He gives us. Let us not boast in our own strength. After all, it is He who gives us breath and the strength to overcome. One thing I have discovered is that when I focus on victory, acknowledge that victory, and the source of that victory, I soon discover other victories and those tasks that I tend to put off, beg to be on the victory list. It soon becomes easier to address those put off tasks. However, when I focused on the one thing I did not get done, I find quickly that the other fourteen things on my "to do list" that got done were overshadowed by the "endless hanging on of the unfinished task."

Yes, the strategy of getting all the easy stuff done first, to feel the sense of accomplish-ment, really did not work for me. I found that if I do the hard thing first, the easy stuff follows. So, acknowledge those victories and for added joy, do the hardest first and you will rejoice through the rest. Hence, why I have included the 30 Minute Power Clean in the "Become a Victory Lady" invitation. That 30 Minute Power Clean is tackling the one home keeping task that is bugging you the most today. Do it and the victory is double sweet. It is no longer there to bug you with guilt and you have obtained victory over that thing.

So, grab a pencil and write down those victories. Place it on the fridge door so it can inspire you. Hem your day! In the morning seek His strength.  Hem in your evening with a prayer of thanksgiving for the strength He sent you.

Do you want to see renewed energy towards learning by your children?

Try a victory list on your children. Look for all they do that is good, right, and true, then acknowledge it. Then help your children keep a Victory List and learn:

  1. These Bible victory verses!
  2. To seek His strength!
  3. These same victory skills!
  4. To gain this same inner strength!
  5. To live in victory.
  6. To see that those areas they struggle with can become victories, as can mistakes made and as they are righted, they can become victories too, all with His strength!

You can live in victory and it will amaze you how much joy it can bring into your life!

Enjoy the Journey!


Each month, I write newsletters with helpful tips that impact homeschool moms on topics such as: homeschooling, homeculture, momculture, and home management. I also inform moms of site news, upcoming events, new products, and special offers.

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